xii.

here i am, here i sit. leaving chicago this morning i was skeptical about making my flight. it had to do with a mix of eagerness and nervousness--i'm not exactly sure about the source of this. the digression began around irving park and ashland. eleanor was talking when the negative thoughts inhibited me. i, albert, noticed the clock. then i began to brood as i usually will, fearing a missed flight. my last experience has stayed with me, when the gate closed as eleanor and i ran to catch our myrtle beach flight.

the signs started with the sc plate smiling faces, beautiful places that i noticed on the way. then, after the deulsions set in, i dictated eleanor's driving, which ran us into more delays. i felt "it" jeering me, mocking me. each time we got into another lane to avoid congestion, the chosen lane would jam. traffic lights caused extreme anxiety for me. eleanor noticed this and did her best to soothe albert.

i had forgotten a few details about the trip planner while fighting my demons. details that could have illuminated reason. my illness overpowered my common sense.

i'm happy to be back on the deck of my sc home.